Four Days in the Wilderness

I just returned from spending 4 days kayaking and camping on Lady Evelyn Lake, one of the most northerly lakes of the vast Temagami system in northern Ontario. It was spectacular and the sunsets sublime (no photos!! - the last thing the world needs is another sunset shot!). It really is an interesting experience to be out in the wilderness alone. I've been doing this every year for the last 6 or 7 years and have regarded it as my private silent meditation retreat. The first and second days are the hardest. It's difficult to describe but it feels like a violent sensory deprivation shock to my system. For me, it manifests itself as extreme loneliness (something I rarely feel, even when travelling alone) and I feel this incredible urge to race back to civilization. Then, after a couple of days it disappears and gives way to complete silence and peace. I gradually become acutely aware of all sounds and as I'm kayaking across the lakes my attention is focused purely on the currents, the wind direction and the splash of my paddle for 5-6 hours at a stretch. The pattern reverses itself when I return to "the world". For the first 12 hours or so I cannot stand any social interaction. Everything and everyone just irritates me and it feels like my nerves are exposed. Gradually, everything gets back to normal. It's the same pattern every year. I didn't really understand it before, but this time I made an effort to observe the feelings and think about what was happening. I can only describe it as a voilent shock to the emotional system. When I go out, the shock is one of "lifestyle deprivation." When I return, the shock is some form of "lifestyle over-stimulation." The body and mind are so use to receiving some kind of stimuli that when it is abrubtly taken away, the emotional system goes into shock or withdrawal. It cries out for human contact or interaction. Likewise, when the mind becomes accomstomed (and it's quick) to other forms of stimulation, it simply cannot deal with a sudden rush of human contact. It has to adjust slowly. Only a few days in the wilderness, completely alone can this be experienced to the full. Does this make any sense?